Teaching Kids To Believe In Themselves Even When They Make Mistakes

Teaching kids to believe in themselves doesn’t mean giving them a gold star for showing up.

Let’s just say it: we’ve gotten a little too comfortable handing out praise like Halloween candy. “Good job! You tried your best!” Sure, that feels good in the moment—but what happens the first time your kid tries hard and still fails? What happens when they lose the game, fall off the balance beam, or bomb the spelling test despite giving it their all?

If we’re not careful, we accidentally teach kids that effort is the end goal. Not the real goal. The real goal is believing in yourself and staying in the game after you mess up.

At Kong Academy, we believe every child is capable, strong, and full of potential—and yes, that includes the messy, melty, mistake-filled moments. Especially those moments. Because confidence isn’t built on a streak of wins. It’s built on what happens after a loss.

Mistakes Are Where The Magic Happens

No one grows during the easy times and your kids are no different. When your kid makes a mistake, that’s when all the real growth kicks in. Their brain is learning, adjusting, rewiring. But only if we let them stay in that moment long enough to learn from it.

The key to teaching kids to believe in themselves is not in shielding them from failure, but in helping them move through it. That means:

• Letting them feel the frustration without fixing it immediately.
• Showing them that struggle doesn’t mean they’re broken.
• Helping them say, “I can try again,” instead of “I’m just not good at this.”

Play Is A Safe Space To Fail & Try Again

This is where our programs at Kong shine. We use movement-based games, parkour-style challenges, and collaborative missions to give kids low-stakes chances to fail, adapt, and try again. The floor is lava? Oops, you fell. No big deal. Reset. Go again. Now try it blindfolded. You got this.

Confidence doesn’t come from hearing “you’re amazing.” It comes from feeling it—from solving the puzzle, finishing the course, or getting up after the fall. That’s how resilience in young children is born.

A quick story from the mat

We had a kid at one of our after-school programs who used to shut down completely when he couldn’t master something on the first try. He’d drop what he was doing, cross his arms, and sit it out.

But after a few weeks of play, where mistakes were part of the game and no one made a big deal out of failing, we saw a shift. One day, after missing a jump during a parkour challenge, he landed flat on his back. He blinked, caught his breath, and then shouted, “Okay! I know what to do this time!”

That moment? That’s the gold star.

Want Your Kid To Believe In Themselves? Start With You

This part can sting a little, but it’s important: kids watch how you handle mistakes. If you beat yourself up when you forget something, burn dinner, or mess up in front of them, they notice.

So model it. Narrate your own setbacks: “Well, that didn’t go how I planned. I guess I’ll try a different way.” Let them see that confidence doesn’t mean being right all the time. It means trusting yourself to figure things out.

Praise the process, not the perfection

Instead of saying “You’re so smart!” or “You’re amazing!” Try:

• “You kept going even when that was tough. That took courage.”
• “I noticed how you calmed down and tried again. That was powerful.”
• “It’s okay to mess up. I love how you kept trying.”

These are the seeds of a growth mindset for children. And the more you plant them, the more they bloom.

Confidence That Lasts Beyond Childhood

Of course, we want kids to feel good about themselves in the moment—today. But more importantly, we want them to grow into teens and adults who can weather setbacks, trust themselves, and keep moving forward even when things get hard. That’s at the heart of teaching kids to believe in themselves. And that might mean in the moment, your child may not feel great about themselves. They may suffer for a few minutes.

This is where you get to shine and coach them through the pain. And you don’t have to do it alone.

At Kong Academy, we make this learning stick through play, movement, community, and challenges that grow with your child. We don’t hand out gold stars for showing up. But we absolutely celebrate the kid who trips, gets up, wipes off the dirt, and says, “Let’s try that again.”

Because that’s the kid who’s going to change the world.

Ready to help your child build real, lasting confidence? Join us for one of our after-school programs or summer camps in Seattle! We use fun, movement, and games to teach kids resilience, emotional regulation, and how to believe in themselves even when things get tough.

Learn more about our programs →